But...no! No, no, no, no, no!

It didn't happen. It didn't happen. This is my coping strategy.

*deep breath*

WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!

I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO CONFUSED AND FUCKED-UP IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHICH WAY IS UP ANYMORE.

OMGWTFIAMSOCONFUSED! WHAT?! WHAT?! I AM APOCALYPTIC WITH CONFUSION AND THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE AT ALL!
I HAVE JUST SPENT AN HOUR WATCHING A TELEVISION PROGRAMME, BUT I HAVE NO. IDEA. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED OR ANYTHIIIING. HELP. THIS IS SO BIZARRE.

On another note: WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?

*dies*

Ashes to Ashes?

JUST BLOODY WELL KISS, OKAY? PLEASE? NOW? AM SICK OF THE SHIT.

(A forehead peck does not a smooch make. This is getting ridiculous)